{"id":1165,"date":"2025-08-27T11:00:53","date_gmt":"2025-08-27T11:00:53","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.cncurc.org\/?p=1165"},"modified":"2025-08-28T15:15:59","modified_gmt":"2025-08-28T15:15:59","slug":"i-use-romantasy-books-as-masturbation-material-is-that-healthy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.cncurc.org\/index.php\/2025\/08\/27\/i-use-romantasy-books-as-masturbation-material-is-that-healthy\/","title":{"rendered":"I Use Romantasy Books As \u201cMasturbation Material\u201d \u2014 Is That Healthy?"},"content":{"rendered":"
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It\u2019s 2 a.m. and the enemies in my new romantasy book<\/a> have just turned into lovers \u2014 and it\u2019s turning me on more than I expected. This is part of a familiar pattern, and one that speaks to my new habit of using smutty books as masturbation material<\/a> on a weekly basis. My arrival into this corner of the literary world comes after years of feeling disconnected with traditional porn and other sources of solo sex<\/a> material, from ethical visual content to spicy audio stories. Fantasy smut \u2014 I have discovered \u2014 is what I\u2019ve been looking for all my life.\u00a0<\/p>\n

I\u2019m not alone in my fascination with spicy romantasy \u2014 that\u2019s \u201cromance-meets-fantasy\u201d. In fact, sales of these books are up an estimated 40%<\/a> year-on-year, with 2024 seeing $610 millions\u2019 worth. Sales this year have shown no signs of slowing down: the influence of Booktok is hard to deny, and it\u2019s not just online where we\u2019re feeling the love for this genre, with entire IRL bookstores \u2014 such as Saucy Books<\/a> in London \u2014 being founded on the premise that romantasy (and romance more widely) is the future. In short, we\u2019ve all gone wild for horny fae, fated lovers and slow-burn, \u201cforced proximity\u201d forbidden romances (with dragons, of course).\u00a0<\/p>\n

This boom in popularity suggests there\u2019s certainly something<\/em> that\u2019s capturing our attention, and while much has been made of our new-found love for spice in mainstream media, the connection this has to our sex lives is still yet to be fully explored. What we do<\/em> know is that content creators, such as Soluna Artworks<\/a> are making money selling NSFW generated images of our favourite romantasy characters through Patreon, highlighting the clear appetite for smut that can facilitate our arousal (and hopefully our orgasms). We\u2019re also seeing the rise of sub-genres that suggest we are consuming romantasy for sexual purposes. Dark romantasy<\/a>, for example, is blowing up on TikTok. This is a world where the morally grey MMCs (male main characters) become even more morally grey, and the smut even smuttier.<\/p>\n

What\u2019s also become apparent to me is that I\u2019m not the only one who\u2019s seen a change in their sex life since reading these books. Speaking to like-minded readers on Instagram after sharing a call-out, I was surprised by just how many people could relate to my new habits. One, aged 28, confirms that she too, uses them for \u201cmasturbation material,\u201d and that it\u2019s their slow burn appeal she enjoys the most, which she describes as \u201cso much better than random people on a screen, which feels super performative.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n

Sex experts are also seeing a rise in clients turning to these resources. Georgia Grace<\/a>, certified sex and relationships practitioner and author<\/a>, tells Refinery29 she\u2019s \u201cnoticing more people saying that reading smut books has had a significant impact on their sex lives and desire for sex.\u201d<\/p>\n

Despite the fantasy elements in these books, relatability is certainly an appeal, and a reason they\u2019re having such a positive effect on our sex lives. The success of bestsellers like ACOTAR<\/em> and Quicksilver<\/em> speaks to our desire for tension, with a slow-build that incorporates emotional depth and love stories with explicit sex. \u201cMany readers feel safer exploring eroticism when it\u2019s wrapped in a storyline of romance, loyalty, or personal growth,\u201d confirms Dr. Viviana Coles<\/a>, marriage, family and sex therapist, and founder of VIVID Relationships<\/a>. Unlike porn, where everything typically happens quickly and without much character-building, romantasy books (often written by\u00a0women authors and featuring strong female protagonists) tend to prioritise women\u2019s perspective, rather than the male gaze. We finally get stories that focus on our pleasure, which is empowering \u2014 and hot.<\/p>\n

Smut scenes in romantasy books present innovative, exciting new ways to explore \u2014 or kickstart \u2014 our solo sex lives, too. \u201cFor those who struggle with low desire, getting lost in a storyline that mixes intimacy, adventure, and erotic tension can be a powerful way to reconnect with their sexual selves,\u201d says Coles. Dr. Lauren Fogel Mersy<\/a>, certified sex therapist and author<\/a>, adds that these stories can be particularly useful \u201cfor people who have responsive desire [in comparison to spontaneous desire], which is sexual desire that emerges in response to arousal or something sexually appealing.\u201d I\u2019ve always struggled with getting turned on alone, so I can fully relate.<\/p>\n

As masturbation material, romantasy books are both easy to access and ethical. They\u2019re also not exclusively useful for single people and can \u201chelp build arousal and interest prior to engaging in partnered sex,\u201d according to Fogel Mersy. My own experiences have proven this: during a tense time with a recent-ex, I read a spicy scene from a book out loud, which \u2014 to my surprise \u2014 prompted sex between us. Someone from Instagram similarly told me that while she doesn\u2019t tend to use romantasy for self-pleasure, \u201creplicating some of the scenes in real life (sans armour and dragons, ofc) with my partner has really improved our intimacy.\u201d Another friend shared that reading the Fourth Wing<\/em> series helped her to realise her then-longterm relationship wasn\u2019t working anymore due to the lack of physical intimacy. She\u2019s now in a new partnership with a thriving sex life.\u00a0<\/p>\n

While romantasy can be seen as a positive influence on our sex lives, there are potential drawbacks, too. Personally,\u00a0I\u2019ve struggled with using them as escapism and then having to return to reality, which is ultimately a disappointment after hours of reading about men who are dedicated to a fault, giving their women triple orgasms in under two minutes. (This is particularly sobering when I\u2019m not currently engaging in any partnered sex.) This, Dr. Coles says, is something to be aware of. \u201cJust like mainstream porn can create unrealistic expectations for men, romantasy can set up unrealistic timelines and experiences for women. In real life, most women don\u2019t orgasm from two minutes of penetration. If a reader doesn\u2019t recognise the difference between fantasy and reality, it can create frustration, pressure, or disappointment in their actual sex life.\u201d A respondent on Instagram confirmed this does have the potential to happen. \u201cIt can spoil you a little,\u201d she told me. \u201cSometimes I look at my boyfriend and think, \u2018Wow, you\u2019re never going to make me orgasm so hard that it creates a lightning storm and breaks all the buildings around us\u2019\u201d.<\/p>\n

There\u2019s also the potential for us to become habituated (and less responsive) to the material over time, argues Dr. Coles. \u201cWhen erotica becomes someone\u2019s primary source of sexual stimulation, especially if they consume it excessively, it can start to rewire their arousal patterns. This is similar to what we sometimes see with porn: over time, a person might need more and more novelty, intensity, or extreme scenarios to achieve the same level of arousal.\u201d She adds that it\u2019s not the books themselves that should be avoided, but \u201cusing them in a way that trains your brain to crave only a very specific, highly-stimulating kind of arousal\u201d can be problematic. If you use the books to masturbate, you may find it better not to include them as part of your daily routine outside of a sexual context, instead creating space to prioritise self-pleasure while reading and fully engaging with the material. Reading or listening to them during everyday tasks like grocery shopping or riding the train to work is not always the ideal approach, Coles says, because it can \u201cnormalise a heightened, fantasy-driven form of sexual stimulation.\u201d<\/p>\n

But this is really where nuance comes in: while we can become reliant on smutty fiction or begin to use it in a less productive way, it\u2019s relatively easy to re-establish a healthy balance. This includes, as mentioned, only reaching for books before bed when you can act upon your urges if they arrive. It can also be worth switching things up by taking a break or \u201clooking at new genres, expanding your repertoire,\u201d says Grace. What this can help with, she continues, is \u201cconsuming these books beyond a rigid or linear way.\u201d And of course, if you do find yourself struggling, sex therapy is there as a resource.<\/p>\n

Ultimately, romantasy can have an incredible impact on your solo and partnered sex life, when used productively and as part of a wider approach (I am testament to that!). Also acknowledging its limitations (and the fact these books are fiction) can go a long way in using it for masturbation in a healthy way. \u201cUse them as inspiration, not instruction,\u201d urges Coles. \u201cUse them to spark conversations about your fantasies [with partners] and for solo play, pair reading with mindful self-touch instead of racing to climax \u2014 this helps you stay grounded in your body rather than just escaping into the story.\u201d And remember that all fiction books are written to be sold as entertainment. It\u2019s just convenient that, in this case, that entertainment comes with (hopefully) an orgasm or two.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?<\/strong><\/p>\n

How To Masturbate Without Sex Toys<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It\u2019s 2 a.m. and the enemies in my new romantasy book have just turned into lovers \u2014 and it\u2019s turning me on more than I expected. This is part of a familiar pattern, and one that speaks to my new habit of using smutty books as masturbation material on a weekly basis. My arrival into […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1167,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1165","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-ecotech"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.cncurc.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1165","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.cncurc.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.cncurc.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.cncurc.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.cncurc.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1165"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/www.cncurc.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1165\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1168,"href":"http:\/\/www.cncurc.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1165\/revisions\/1168"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.cncurc.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1167"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.cncurc.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1165"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.cncurc.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1165"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.cncurc.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1165"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}